Me too!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
