Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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