I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
