i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
