Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
