i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
