you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
