1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
