I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
