Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
