i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
