someone get that fucking seahorse.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize