If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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