when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
