At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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