I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
