And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize