i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
