bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
