Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
