walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
