If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
