just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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