I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
