There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
