I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
