She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
