I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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