I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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