belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
