He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
This is my gift to your gina
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
