so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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