At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
