my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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