I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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