Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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