i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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