it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
