She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
