i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize