You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There r osticjed everywhere
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize