Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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