then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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