Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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