He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Who wears a wallet chain?!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize