I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
