You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You're so nebulous sometimes
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
