just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
