xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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