Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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