I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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