As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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