I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
