I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I intend to get homeless drunk
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
