do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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