She is in my trunk
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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