Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
