Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
