just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
